A Thank You From Diocesan Publications

We know that parish work can be hard and there is a lot to get done with the many hats you wear. But the work you do is so important for the future of the church.

So we just want to say thank you.

Our mission at Diocesan Publications is to help you with your mission as a parish. We are dedicated to helping you with all your communication needs. Give us a call, 1-800-783-1623. We would love to hear from you.

As Diocesan Publications’ Solutions Evangelist, Tommy is committed to showing parish and diocesan staffs how to use our communication tools to their best advantage.  He has worked for years in various, youth ministry, adult ministry, and diocesan roles. As an expert on Catholic communication, Tommy uses his parish and diocesan experiences to help you make your ministry effective. To bring Tommy to your parish or for general inquiry, contact him at tshultz@diocesan.com.

best lent ever

6 Ways To Make This Lent The Best Ever

We have 6 days until Lent. If you’re like me, you’ve only given a fleeting thought about what to give up: “Hmmm, maybe chocolate this year. Maybe tv. We watch too much tv….” And that is where your Lenten planning begins … and ends. Let’s get real; if you don’t have your Lenten plan in place by this weekend, you probably won’t have one at all. Let’s make this the best Lent ever!

Here are some concrete suggestions. Choose one or two. Or maybe this list will spark your imagination.

      1. Ask God. Find some quiet time in the next day or two; a half an hour would be ideal. In front of the Blessed Sacrament would be perfect! In that quiet time, tell God you want your Lenten journey to please Him, to be for Him. Ask him what He’d like you to do. Then: be quiet. Very still. You’ll get your answer.
      2. Give up something in order to give something. We are all familiar with “giving up” something for Lent. We give up chocolate, steadfastly making our way around the niece’s birthday cake, dinner at Grandma’s (“Eat! You look thin!”) until it’s Easter Sunday and you can happily munch the ears off all the chocolate bunnies. Noble, but it doesn’t really get at the heart of Lent, does it? After all, Lent is not some weight-loss program that had holy water sprinkled over it. We make sacrifices during Lent to remind us that Christ has made the greatest sacrifice of all, and we want to join with him in this terrible beauty.  If you’re going to give up something for Lent, here are a couple of ideas to make it a mindful Lenten practice. First, every time you find yourself reaching for that treat, pray. Just something simple, like “Jesus, I trust in you” or “Glory be to the Father and the Son….” Allow that craving to be redirected to worship. Second, figure out about how much money you spent on your treat. Are you buying a $4 latte every day? Do you stop and get fast food once or twice a week? Take that amount and donate it to a charity of your choice. Double those blessings!
      3. Get the family involved. One way you may be called to Lent is to get the whole family involved. Catholic Relief Services’ Operation Rice Bowl has some amazing and fun ways to get kids involved while learning about areas of the world where finding clean water and wholesome food can be a struggle.
      4. Commit to daily prayer. Yes, you’re busy. Yup, you’ve got work and kids and soccer and ballet and dinner and that big project due in April and… Yup, you are busy. Pray anyway.Finding 30 minutes of silence in your day is invaluable for your relationship with Christ. You call your mom every day, right? Or your best friend? You find 30 minutes a day to tinker in the wood shop downstairs, don’t you? Then you’ve got the time. And Christ desperately wants to hear from you.
      5. Make time for family. Sometimes we feel like we are spending time together simply because we live together. But with 5 people going in 15 directions, you probably aren’t truly together that much. Spend Saturday night or Sunday afternoon making some popcorn and pulling out old board games. At the end of the game, tell each of the family members how much you love them and why you appreciate spending time with them.
      6. Be grateful (and the flip side: Don’t complain) We take so much for granted – from the fact that our spouse brings us coffee in bed every single morning to a vast array of things we have to amuse ourselves to the different flavors of ice cream at the local ice cream shop. Yet, we still find ways to be grumpy. To complain. To find fault. This Lent, flip that around. When you find yourself thinking, “This coffee isn’t very hot; he does this every morning” stop yourself. Instead, think, “I am so blessed to have such a thoughtful spouse. Thank you, God for this blessing.” Lift your thoughts from the negative to the prayerful positive.

Our annual Lenten practices are such a blessed opportunity for us to work on shedding our sinful nature and to grow closer to God, especially as we ponder daily the Life, Death, and Resurrection of His Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father, bless us as we ponder our Lenten journey. We desire to please you and to grow in faith. We beg that you help us with this good endeavors. We ask this through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

EH headshotElise Hilton is an author, blogger, and speaker. She has worked in parish faith formation and Catholic education for over 25 years. A passionate student of theology, Elise enjoys sharing her thoughts on parish communication, the role of social media in the Church, Franciscan spirituality and Catholic parenting. To inquire about booking her as a speaker, please contact her at ehilton@diocesan.com.

 

sixth Christmas

On the Sixth Day of Christmas

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six geese a’laying

The number six is meant to represent the six days of Creation.

Today, we turn our prayerful attention to the Holy Family. It would be easy to dismiss the Holy Family as some sort of fairty-tale creation, a house where no one ever gets angry or raises a voice, where chores are always cheerfully done and there is no such thing as illness or suffering.

That would be wrong.

True, the Holy Family consisted of the Second Person of the Holy Trinity, a woman who never sinned and a husband and father who we know to be good and just. But this family knew tremendous hardship. Their son was born in a stable – not exactly what first-time parents would consider a great birth experience. They had to leave all they had behind as they made their way to Egypt in order to keep their Son safe. Imagine, if you will, having to leave NOW with your family and only the clothes on your back for safety. You end up in a foreign land, new parents with no support system. You have no idea how long you’ll have to stay. At some point, the Holy Family lost the man who anchored them in place, regardless of where they were; Joseph died. He was not there to support his foster Son and his wife during the most gut-wrenching time in their lives.

The Holy Family had to make a living, prepare food, clean, get water. They got sick. They prayed together. Deacon Michael Bickerstaff:

The Holy Family is a family that knew hardship yet remained steadfast in God. It is for our families to imitate their model if we are to know joy and peace in the midst of this life; if we are to attain holiness and salvation for ourselves and for our children…

For thirty of His thirty-three years, Jesus lived a humble and obedient life within His family before embarking on His public ministry. In this way, He allowed Himself to be taught experientially by His mother and foster-father, in their words and deeds, in acts both extraordinary and ordinary.

They taught Him the traditional prayers and piety, passed on the cherished customs of His people, showed him the greatest example of love and affection within the family, gave to Him a skill and trade to help support the family.

In His public ministry, Jesus taught with words and examples taken from his early and hidden family life. In the lessons He taught, we discover the great love and courage that St. Joseph must have exhibited for Jesus and His Blessed Mother; the tender love and care that must have been shared between mother and son.

Do not think of the Holy Family as the Never Had Any Problems Family. That family doesn’t exist. The Holy Family, in “acts both extraordinary and ordinary,” are tremendous examples of how a family should be: loving, supportive, prayerful. All families should strive for this holy life. Holy Mary, prayer for us. Good St. Joseph, pray for us. Jesus, Son of God and Son of Man, have mercy on us. 

[From the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops: “The liturgical season of Christmas begins with the vigil Masses on Christmas Eve and concludes on the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord. During this season, we celebrate the birth of Christ into our world and into our hearts, and reflect on the gift of salvation that is born with him…including the fact that he was born to die for us.” There are, however, the traditional “12 Days of Christmas,” captured in the song of the same title. Some claim the song was meant as catechism of a sort, written and sung for nearly 300 years of British persecution of Catholics. We will be using both the song and the Church’s liturgical calendar to celebrate the Christmas season. We hope you enjoy.]

praise

Speak Praise, Not Poison

Are you wearied of bad news? Of the social media hashtags that beg us to pray for yet another city mired in violence? The seemingly endless culture wars and political battles? I know I am.

There are times when we need to shut out the world and immerse ourselves in prayer. Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts, knows this. Lest you think Voskamp is a hermit or a cloistered nun and therefore has the time and ability to shut out the world and pray far more easily than you or I, think again. She’s a wife. A mom with six kids. Married to a farmer and a homeschooler. But she knows about prayer. Here are some of her thoughts:

God doesn’t need us to praise him but he needs us to praise.

What else keeps us from bitterness? …

Words praising Christ or wrangling to be praised ourselves.

This seeping of bitterness or straight spires of blessings …

I’m not sure how my life stands. How my inner and outer walls stand, how I make a home. Unless we make it a habit to give thanks we habitually give our family grief.

Unless we consistently speak praise, we consistently speak poison.

Unless we are intentional about giving God glory throughout the day, our days unintentionally give way to grumbling …

It’s in praising a Savior in all things that we are saved from discouragement in all things …

Father God, make me speak praise today, not poison; make me intentionally give you glory throughout the day, that my day doesn’t unintentionally crumble in grumbling. In thanking you in all things, I am saved from discouragement in all things, and this today is my earnest prayer: Make me do doxology, not destruction.

You can find more of Voskamp’s work at her blog, A Holy Experience.

living faith

Living Your Catholic Faith Out Loud

You’ve probably heard the question, “If you went on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict  you?” It’s not a bad way to examine yourself. When  you reflect upon your life, do people know you’re Catholic? Are you living your Catholic faith intentionally, with prayerful purpose? Are you living your Catholic faith out loud?

For instance, think of your house. When guests come over, do they see a home that reflects your faith or simply a place where people live? No one is suggesting you have to turn your home into a shrine, but if you are serious about your faith, your home should certainly be the “domestic church” we are called to create. A prayer space, crucifixes, a picture of the Holy Father and many other items are a great reminder to all that this home is dedicated to God.

Speaking of a prayer space, one can easily create this. You don’t need an entire room; a nook or corner will do. Even young children can help with the creation and use of a family prayer space. A comfortable chair, a small table to hold a Bible and other reading material, a votive candle and a small crucifix or picture makes for an easy-to-do space for personal prayer and meditation.

Many of us like to decorate our vehicles. If you do, are those stickers compatible with the faith? We don’t want to give the world the impression that our faith is something we leave at church, so a bumper sticker that is off-color or mean-spirited is in contradiction to our faith. And let’s not forget driving itself! Are we kind when we drive? Do we give in to road rage? The ultimate goal is to get everyone to where they are going safely. A short prayer before we even start the engine can keep us “on track” in our vehicles.

Most of us can display items on or around our work space. If possible, make sure your desk has a Catholic “spirit” about it (Yes, sadly it’s true that some work places restrict this sort of thing.) A small cross, a prayer card, a favorite Scripture verse – all of these are great for us but can also start conversations with co-workers about faith and its centrality in our lives. If you can’t put up such items, you can still live out your faith at work by the way you speak about others, refusing to gossip or speak poorly of someone, being ethical and kind in your work.

Even a trip to the grocery store gives opportunities to share your faith. Let’s say the cashier has some dog tags around her neck (this is a true story!). You ask her about them, and she tells you they are a copy of her son’s dog tags. He is a combat soldier, and works in very dangerous places. You ask his first name, and she tells you. You promise to pray for his safety. A simple gesture like this is another way to live your faith “out loud.”

Remember, we are not meant to be “show offs” or holier than thou. However, Christ is very clear: we are to go out and make disciples of all nations. In order to do that, people need to know that we are persons of faith, open to questions, dialogue and that we are someone who prays with intent. Learning to not be shy about sharing the Good News and being open to situations like the ones above can help lay the groundwork for opportunities to share Jesus with someone. Let’s all learn to live our faith out loud just a little bit more!

joy of family

10 Great Quotes From “The Joy of Love”

We’ve spent the last few days examining sections of Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love)Pope Francis’ recently released apostolic exhortation. This “love letter to families” has so much rich material; it deserves far more in-depth study than we can afford here. However, here are 10 great quotes that we hope will spur you to pick up the document and prayerfully read over it.

  1.  The couple that loves and begets life is a true, living icon – not an idol like those of stone or gold prohibited by the Decalogue – capable of revealing God the Creator and Saviour.
  2. The word of God tells us that the family is entrusted to a man, a woman and their children, so that they may become a communion of persons in the image of the union of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Begetting and raising children, for its part, mirrors God’s creative work.
  3. The sacrament of marriage is not a social convention, an empty ritual or merely the outward sign of a commitment. The sacrament is a gift given for the sanctification and salvation of the spouses, since “their mutual belonging is a real representation, through the sacramental sign, of the same relationship between Christ and the Church.”
  4. The Church is a family of families, constantly enriched by the lives of all those domestic churches.
  5. True love values the other person’s achievements. It does not see him or her as a threat. It frees us from the sour taste of envy. It recognizes that everyone has different gifts and a unique path in life. So it strives to discover its own road to happiness, while allowing others to find theirs.
  6. If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us. Otherwise, our family life will no longer be a place of understanding, support and encouragement, but rather one of constant tension and mutual criticism.
  7. In family life, we need to cultivate that strength of love which can help us fight every evil threatening it. Love does not yield to resentment, scorn for others or the desire to hurt or to gain some advantage. The Christian ideal, especially in families, is a love that never gives up.
  8. Marital joy can be experienced even amid sorrow; it involves accepting that marriage is an inevitable mixture of enjoyment and struggles, tensions and repose, pain and relief, satisfactions and longings, annoyances and pleasures, but always on the path of friendship, which inspires married couples to care for one another: “they help and serve each other”.
  9. Large families are a joy for the Church. They are an expression of the fruitfulness of love.
  10. Married couples are grateful that their pastors uphold the high ideal of a love that is strong, solid, enduring and capable of sustaining them through whatever trials they may have to face. The Church wishes, with humility and compassion, to reach out to families and “to help each family to discover the best way to overcome any obstacles it encounters”.
never give in

Families: Never Give In

In 1941, London had been under siege, seemingly standing alone against a well-armed enemy. Germany had bombed the city for months: lives were lost, buildings destroyed, morale low. England’s then-Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, spoke to the nation about these dark days:

[N]ever give in, never give in, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

In his apostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), Pope Francis understands that the modern nuclear family – father, mother, children and extended family – is also under siege. The war we face is with a hidden enemy but one who is still very real. Parents know the struggle of protecting innocence, of standing firm in faith and morality against an increasingly hostile culture, and the necessity of creating a home life that offers respite from a harsh world.

In family life, we need to cultivate that strength of love which can help us fight every evil threatening it. Love does not yield to resentment, scorn for others or the desire to hurt or to gain some advantage. The Christian ideal, especially in families, is a love that never gives up. I am sometimes amazed to see men or women who have had to separate from their spouse for their own protection, yet, because of their enduring conjugal love, still try to help them, even by enlisting others, in their moments of illness, suffering or trial. Here too we see a love that never gives up. Para. 119

The Holy Father talks of a positive attitude that requires endurance, and a “dogged heroism” that is committed to goodness. One would be hard-pressed to find someone who disagreed with this. We all want a home that is a place of forgiveness, goodness, and love. One would also be hard-pressed to find any family who does this well, all the time.

We are human; we all struggle with sin. As much as we love our parents, our siblings, our children, our spouse, we do not always love as we should. We criticize. We speak harshly. We fail to listen. We are impatient, unkind, unforgiving: the very opposite of what we are called to be.

What to do? The Church offers us the Sacrament of Reconciliation so that we might seek forgiveness from God and gain the grace we need to do better. Making frequent use of this sacrament as a family is a tremendous gift we can give one another.

The simple act of saying, “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” when they need to be said is indispensable. Both children and adults need to know that they can make mistakes, they can sin, and that they are still loved and lovable.

We can never give in. Evil hates love. It hates forgiveness, patience, kindness. Evil hates the dogged determination to love. While it is difficult for families to live up to this standard, we must never give in. We cannot give in to despair or fear, to hostility or harshness. We must never give in. We must love.

male and female

Male And Female He Created Them

We return today to the Holy Father’s apostolic letter, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love.) Pope Francis, following the groundwork laid by St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, reminds us that men and women are equal in dignity, but are distinct in the gifts they offer the world. It is a primary tenet of the Judeo-Christian tradition that humanity was created male and female and as with all God’s creation, both are fundamentally good.

This apostolic letter addresses many current issues and problems in the world that, even 50 years ago, would have been thought outlandish or impossible. The scourge of drug abuse and its burden on families, the idea that one can choose to “identify” as a different gender and the scientific advances that have made procreation outside of the conjugal act possible are all discussed.

It needs to be emphasized that “biological sex and the socio-cultural role of sex (gender) can be distinguished but not separated”. On the other hand, “the technological revolution in the field of human procreation has introduced the ability to manipulate the reproductive act, making it independent of the sexual relationship between a man and a woman. In this way, human life and parenthood have become modular and separable realities, subject mainly to the wishes of individuals or couples”. It is one thing to be understanding of human weakness and the complexities of life, and another to accept ideologies that attempt to sunder what are inseparable aspects of reality. Let us not fall into the sin of trying to replace the Creator. We are creatures, and not omnipotent. Creation is prior to us and must be received as a gift. At the same time, we are called to protect our humanity, and this means, in the first place, accepting it and respecting it as it was created. Para. 56

The letter expounds further that women, in the role of motherhood, are indispensable to children and families:

[W]e cannot ignore the need that children have for a mother’s presence, especially in the first months of life. Indeed, “the woman stands before the man as a mother, the subject of the new human life that is conceived and develops in her, and from her is born into the world”. The weakening of this maternal presence with its feminine qualities poses a grave risk to our world. I certainly value feminism, but one that does not demand uniformity or negate motherhood. For the grandeur of women includes all the rights derived from their inalienable human dignity but also from their feminine genius, which is essential to society. Their specifically feminine abilities – motherhood in particular – also grant duties, because womanhood also entails a specific mission in this world, a mission that society needs to protect and preserve for the good of all. Para. 173

The pope laments that fathers, in so many cases, are absent in today’s family. This leaves an enormous hole in the heart of the family and of a child.

God sets the father in the family so that by the gifts of his masculinity he can be “close to his wife and share everything, joy and sorrow, hope and hardship. And to be close to his children as they grow – when they play and when they work, when they are carefree and when they are distressed, when they are talkative and when they are silent, when they are daring and when they are afraid, when they stray and when they get back on the right path. To be a father who is always present. When I say ‘present’, I do not mean ‘controlling’. Fathers who are too controlling overshadow their children, they don’t let them develop”. Some fathers feel they are useless or unnecessary, but the fact is that “children need to find a father waiting for them when they return home with their problems. They may try hard not to admit it, not to show it, but they need it”. It is not good for children to lack a father and to grow up before they are ready. Para. 177

In the day-to-day life of our homes, we rarely think of the “grandeur” of the feminine or the “gifts of masculinity.” Nor does every family follow traditional roles; in some families, the father is at home with the children while the mother works outside the home, the father is the one who cooks and cleans and the mother is the one who maintains the car. The point made in this letter from Pope Francis is not that men and women should do certain things, but rather that men and women are different beings. We know we must care for the created world: we recycle, are careful with our use of water and so on. Yet many of us never give a thought to how we respect the masculine and feminine, the man and woman God created. Pope Francis, in this apostolic letter, gives us the opportunity to reflect on this.

God created mankind in his image;
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

God blessed them and God said to them: Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that crawl on the earth. 

God also said: See, I give you every seed-bearing plant on all the earth and every tree that has seed-bearing fruit on it to be your food and to all the wild animals, all the birds of the air, and all the living creatures that crawl on the earth, I give all the green plants for food.

And so it happened God looked at everything he had made, and found it very good. Gen. 1:27-31

tenderness

Family: A School Of Love And Tenderness

Pope Francis has just released his Apostolic Exhortation, Amoris Laetitiaor “The Joy of Love” An apostolic exhortation is a type of letter a pope uses to explain conclusions reached following a Synod of Bishops. While this particular exhortation is far too long to discuss in whole here, we can find a few sections to consider.

Pope Francis reminds us that the family is the “domestic church,” the first place we learn the faith, and where God’s presence is always felt.

A family’s living space could turn into a domestic church, a setting for the Eucharist, the presence of Christ seated at its table. We can never forget the image found in the Book of Revelation, where the Lord says: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me” (Rev 3:20). Here we see a home filled with the presence of God, common prayer and every blessing. This is the meaning of the conclusion of Psalm 128, which we cited above: “Thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion!” (Ps 128:4-5) Para. 15

The Holy Father gives societies and cultures an important admonition: children are not property. While they are under the charge of their parents, children have their own “lives to lead,” and parents are charged with helping their children find that path. In today’s world, we must remember we are not “owed” children nor should children be bought and sold (either through such things as surrogacy or in the more horrible means of human trafficking.)

The pope is under no illusion that families are idyllic. However, we do have a standard we must hold ourselves to as Christians. Pope Francis speaks to this quite clearly:

Against this backdrop of love so central to the Christian experience of marriage and the family, another virtue stands out, one often overlooked in our world of frenetic and superficial relationships. It is tenderness. Let us consider the moving words of Psalm 131. As in other biblical texts (e.g., Ex 4:22; Is 49:15; Ps 27:10), the union between the Lord and his faithful ones is expressed in terms of parental love. Here we see a delicate and tender intimacy between mother and child: the image is that of a babe sleeping in his mother’s arms after being nursed. As the Hebrew word gamûl suggests, the infant is now fed and clings to his mother, who takes him to her bosom. There is a closeness that is conscious and not simply biological… Para. 29

No matter our faith or beliefs, the pope’s words ring true: our world needs tenderness. We need it most especially in our homes, our refuges from a world that can be chaotic, mean-spirited, ruthless and dispiriting. The tenderness of Mary holding the infant Jesus, the tenderness of Joseph as he taught the Child Jesus a trade, the tenderness of Christ as He cared for His earthly parents: all of these should be our icons, our examples, our prayers-in-action within the walls of our own homes.

We will contemplate more of Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation this week, but for today, let tenderness be our prayer and our manner of being.

 

Celebrating Easter

8 Ways To Keep Celebrating Easter

While the stores have slashed prices on jelly beans, and removed Easter bunny decorations in favor of Mother’s Day, the Catholic Church keeps right on celebrating Easter.

  1. Make an “Alleluia” banner as a family, and hang it prominently in your home. It’s a great reminder that we are in a season of joy.
  2. If you didn’t get around to decorating eggs over the holiday weekend, do it now! Less stress, no hurry, and Easter eggs are a great way to have a discussion with kids about death and resurrection.
  3. Take time to re-visit your Lenten penance. What did you learn from it? How did it help your prayer life, your spiritual life? If it’s something you still struggle with, consider continuing it, even once a week.
  4. Another great family activity (perfect for spring) is to plant a Marian garden. It’s a beautiful and very visible way to put your faith “front and center” at your home.
  5. What about creating a prayer space in your home? It need not be elaborate, but having a quiet corner with a candle, some prayer books, a statue can help you and your family find some space to make prayer a part of your home life every day.
  6. One of the great parts of Easter is sharing a meal with family and friends. The feast – even though it is in our homes – truly is an extension of the celebration of Mass. The Body of Christ is sent forth from Mass to take our faith into the world. Look around: is there someone in your life who could use a little feasting? A homemade meal? Even just a visit? Now is the time!
  7. Many cultures include bread-making as part of the Easter tradition. Have some fun with the family and  make fresh bread.
  8. Do you have a crucifix displayed prominently in your home? If not, pick one out online or at a Catholic book store, and then ask your priest to bless it after Mass (it only takes a minute.) Then, as a family, choose where you will display it.

One of the great things about being Catholic is that we have so many celebrations of different aspects of our faith. Enjoy the 50 days of Easter!

domestic church

Family As ‘Domestic Church’

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2685 The Christian family is the first place of education in prayer. Based on the sacrament of marriage, the family is the “domestic church” where God’s children learn to pray “as the Church” and to persevere in prayer. For young children in particular, daily family prayer is the first witness of the Church’s living memory as awakened patiently by the Holy Spirit.

Our families are meant to be “little churches:” places where we practice our faith earnestly, we pray together, we make meals a priority, we forgive and celebrate together.

Is it just me, or are some of us saying, “Yeah, right…”?

We know the reality of family life: tussles to get everyone out the door in the morning. A shouting match with a teenager. Deep hurts with siblings that go back decades. Exhaustion from sleepless nights due to a baby’s needs or a toddler’s nightmares. Is this a “little church?”

Yes, it is. With all its troubles, heartaches, mistakes and mishaps, our family is our little church, our domestic church. It helps to remember that – as Blessed Teresa of Calcutta was fond of saying – God does not call us to be successful: He calls us to be faithful. We are not called to be perfect parents or perfect kids, perfect siblings or spouses. We are called to try to live out our faith in the mundane parts of our life (Time to clean the bathrooms!), in the harsh reality of our life (We need to put Dad in a nursing home), in the daily conflicts and crises (Our teen is lying to us; what do we do?)

It helps to think about the Holy Family. Maybe that seems a bit, well, ridiculous: after all, Jesus is perfect, Mary had no original sin to deal with, and Joseph was a saint! How is my family supposed to be like that?

Hear me out. Even though the Holy Family was holy, that doesn’t mean they didn’t face challenges. Imagine the gossip when it was discovered that Mary was pregnant before she and Joseph wed. That was literally a sin punishable by death; Mary could have been stoned. Surely there was talk – and not all of it nice.

Joseph and Mary, newlyweds and new parents, had to flee to Egypt in order to save their Son. They had to leave their family and home. Imagine: having a new baby and not having your mother or aunt or sister to help. Imagine leaving your business behind as the father, and having to provide for your young family in a foreign country.

At some point, Joseph died. Mary lost her spouse, Jesus his foster father. It may have happened when they were a younger family, or when Jesus was an adult. Either way, we know this pain.

Some of us know what it’s like to watch a child go through something terrible: a horrible illness, an addiction, an unplanned pregnancy. Imagine Mary’s pain watching her Son be tortured and killed.

Yet through all of this, the Holy Family was holy. They were faithful. They kept their promise to God: to serve Him, to love Him, to share His promise with others. When we were baptized, we made this same promise (or our parents made it for us.) We make it every time we pray the Creed: “I believe!” We make that promise when we faithfully attend Mass.

We also get the grace necessary to keep this promise. God doesn’t give us the task of being a domestic church, and not give us any help. No, we have grace: God’s very life in us. We can’t be holy on our own; we need God’s grace. But once we have that gift of grace, and we use it, we run with it: we can be holy! We can transform our lives, our families, our homes. That doesn’t mean we will be perfect, or even successful, but we will be faithful.

Make an opportunity to talk, as a family, about being a domestic church. What can you do better? What are you doing well? Where do you see God’s grace in your home? And then pray together for your domestic church.