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Wishing To Go Unnoticed

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I wonder how many times in the Gospels Jesus tells those he has healed not to tell anyone about it, or not to make Him known. It seems contradictory, doesn’t it? I mean, isn’t the whole reason He came to Earth to save the whole world, so that everyone could have a relationship with Him and reach heaven? Why did He insist that people not spread word of His miracles? Was it because He would have literally been bombarded by people from every side, never able to eat or sleep? Was it because His “time had not yet come” and he didn’t want the “bad guys” to find Him before then? Or was it an act of simple and true humility? He didn’t want to be known, so that they wouldn’t applaud Him…

If the latter is the case, I have a lot to learn…

As complex human beings made up of the physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological and otherwise, we seem to tend to seek affirmation that we’re ok people, at least I do. I don’t expect to be a famous superstar, but I do wish to be loved and liked and I would hope that people appreciate the efforts I put into all I do. It almost seems like I would be working in vain if at least ONE person didn’t notice. Right? I appreciate a pat on the back, a congratulatory comment or a “good job!” but maybe I put too much emphasis on it. I know I have a lot to work on when it comes to humility.

Let’s just say that I continued my everyday life, went to work, did my job to the best of my ability, helped out a family member or coworker, came home and took care of the kids, put them lovingly to bed, spent quality time with my husband, listening to him and tending to his needs, and throughout the whole day, not a single person said “thank you” or “you look nice today” or “you did a great job with that”. At the end of the day, how would I feel? Would I be happy to be able to identify with my Lord and Savior who wished to go unnoticed?  I kinda doubt it.

I get defensive and upset whenever anyone decides to correct me or tell me something I did wrong. God forbid I make a mistake! I realize I’m only human, but I find it soooo hard to accept my shortcomings. I want to do everything right and get it right the first time. I want to have the answer before you finish the question. I want to guess what you’re going to say next and have that cute quip ready at the tip of my tongue to make you laugh…

“And in His Name the Gentiles will hope.” (Matthew 12:21)

People do not and should not hope in yours truly, but rather in the Lord.

Dear Jesus, help me to be a beacon of your truth and goodness, your love and joy. May I not seek praise or affirmation for myself, but rather may all the attention be reflected back to you. Amen.

Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. She loves tackling home improvement projects, finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby and finding unique ways to love. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for almost 20 years.

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God, the Master Change Artist

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It is truly amazing how God can turn around a horribly difficult situation and use it for the good. I wonder if in the moment, Joseph was able to catch a glimpse of that. I mean, his brothers hated him. They were so jealous of him that they despised him and wanted him dead. One of them interceded on his behalf and thought it better to sell him into slavery. What?! You think you’re a hero because you’re selling your brother instead of killing him? Isn’t it essentially the same thing, since he is never more to be seen by his family and friends anyway? But in an interesting and fateful turn of events, the very brother they once despised was now the one saving them from famine. They are bowing down to his mercy and he is calling their evil actions a work of God!

This passage is tremendous proof of God’s power and mercy for me. Only God could orchestrate such an unforeseen turn of events. Not only did Joseph’s family live but many, many others as well.  God could have struck his brothers down, punished them for their wicked deeds and here He was, designing a way to feed them and give them life. And He does the same for us, day in and day out. He does not punish us for our sins, but rather seeks us out, chases after us, and feeds us with His Body and Blood.

My husband and I are in the midst of a very difficult family situation. We have talked about it for hours, thought of every possible reason, looked at it from every possible angle and come up with every possible solution. We have suffered emotionally, psychologically and financially. We have had extremely hard decisions to make that affect others. Today I read “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up on God” (paraphrase), but what about people? Do we give up on people who never change and end up doing us harm?

While the First Reading seems to be intent on second chances, the Gospel states “Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words – go outside that house [] and shake the dust from your feet. Amen, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for th[em]. Those are some strong words and Jesus is not one to mince them. He says what He means and means what He says. It seems we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. What are we to do?

Perhaps my answer is found in this one phrase: “If the [person] is worthy, let your peace come upon [him]; if not, let your peace return to you.” I must not lose my peace. With the knowledge of God’s presence and His unfailing love, my peace should return. I cannot rely on other human beings to maintain my peace. It comes from God alone. And who knows, perhaps God will turn this family situation around for the good as well! One can always hope…

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. She loves tackling home improvement projects, finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby and finding unique ways to love. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for almost 20 years.

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Leave our Quarreling

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It seems that everywhere we look there is strife among kinsmen, just like in today’s First Reading. Whether it be jealousy, hurtful words, constant comparisons, or simple differences of opinion, so many things can cause division. In the case of Abram and Lot, it was wealth. They had so many possessions they couldn’t live together. There were quarrels… over what? Hey, your sheep are grazing on my grass! Your turkeys are squawking too loud! Your tent flap is hitting my tent flap! The sun is reflecting off your gold and hurting my eyes…!

Doesn’t it all sound so ridiculous? If we allow ourselves to fall into that trap, we can find little things to argue about all day long. We can allow conflict to eat us up, ruin our relationships and turn us into disgruntled souls. Or, we can choose simplicity, positivity, and love.

Thankfully, my family has never had to worry about wealth. Since I was a kid, we were a middle-class family that watched every penny to get by. I was delivering newspapers by age 8, babysitting by age 11 and bought my own CD’s, Chap Stick and cars. Anything that wasn’t food, shelter, and clothing I purchased with my own nickels and dimes.

Now I have a family of my own, a small army of little boys, and we are living pretty close to the same blueprint. We live in the house I group up in, my sons go to the same Catholic School I did and they are also learning hard work and responsibility. We live on one income and spend as much time outdoors as possible. Sure, they fight over toys, perhaps their version of “wealth” but there are no video games, no tablets, and only one family TV. They wear clothing shared among their cousins and their sporting equipment comes from thrift stores and rummage sales.

I realize that perhaps we are an oddity in today’s society. We don’t ask Alexa what the weather is like each morning or even let our boys hold our phones. We drive old cars so we really don’t care if they have one more dent from a stray soccer ball. We don’t keep up on the day’s news or the latest sports headline. We just live. Food, clothing, shelter. Throw in a few dozen activities to keep the kiddos moving and we’re all set until we crash into bed at the end of each day.

Perhaps a bit too simplistic, but the less you have, the less there is to bicker about. The less you have, the more silence there is to just be. The less you have, the more you can reflect on all that God wants you to be. Looking at life from this perspective, we begin to see the wisdom of evangelical poverty.

“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few.” ( Mt 7: 13-14)

May God grant us the grace to leave our quarreling and our ‘riches’ behind in order to be one of those few who find that narrow road that leads to life.

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. She loves tackling home improvement projects, finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby and finding unique ways to love. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for almost 20 years.

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Dissecting a Passage from Paul

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In today’s first reading Paul says, “Keep watch over yourselves and the over the whole flock of which the Holy Spirit has appointed you overseers”. I would like to dissect this passage to glean its significance. It is truly incredible how reflecting on Scriptures slowly and quietly brings out so much meaning.

Let’s start with ‘Keep watch over yourselves…’ A far cry from an individualistic or egocentric statement, this is a reminder to us that you can’t give what you don’t have. In mother’s circles, this is often called self-care. I am not talking about finding a babysitter to go get a pedicure and have a latte, but rather spiritual and perhaps emotional self-care. Taking a step back from the chaos, the noise, the gadgets and devices, the errands, the novels, the endless work, to just bask in stillness and silence. Maybe you can best do this when gardening or taking a walk, maybe it’s sitting in your favorite recliner or laying in your bed, but if we do not take time to regroup in silence, we burn out and have very little to offer to others. Silence doesn’t mean driving with the radio on or exercising with earbuds. Silence means you can hear the street lights buzz and the crickets chirping. Turn it off and just breathe. Breathe deep and breathe long and breathe repetitively. Let your heart rate slow and then listen, because you have to…

[Keep watch] ‘over the whole flock’. Who is in your flock? Is it your family, your friends, the employees under you? How do you treat them? Do you take care of them and nurture them? Do you truly care about their wellbeing? Because…

‘The Holy Spirit has appointed you [their] overseers.’ I don’t think we often look at life like that. I am a mother to my 4 children, a wife to my husband, a friend to my coworkers, an aunt, sister or daughter to my family members because the Holy Spirit has appointed me. What does that mean? How does that change things? What significance does it have? A whole lot! It means that everything I do, say and think should be led by Him and have His stamp of approval.

Now I am a very task driven, goal oriented person that likes to GET THINGS DONE. Needless to say, this becomes quite a challenge with 4 active little boys running around. Just maneuvering from the fridge to the counter to make a sandwich often has me literally stepping on one of their toes. Try to take on bigger projects and you better have pretty low expectations, cuz it’s not gonna get done in your time frame. I get so frustrated, I raise my voice, I demand help, I focus, and I ignore all else. Sure, there are some cool family moments of little helpers mixed up in there, but how much am I really letting the Holy Spirit in? My eyes glaze over and I am intent on my goal!

Farther down in the passage Paul reminds us of Jesus’ words: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” It is more blessed to give of my time, attention, love, and even eye contact to my family than it is to finish putting down my patio stones. Sigh…. The Holy Spirit has appointed me overseer to these little ones. That is a huge responsibility! But it is also a huge opportunity and a huge gift. The way I let God shine through me can show them how to live a godly life.

May God grant us all the grace to take time for ourselves in order to continue caring for others with the consistent presence and guidance of His Holy Spirit.

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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Presence Matters

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I have a 4-year-old at home who is suffering from what I call “accompaniment syndrome”. It may be a form of separation anxiety, or maybe he’s just a momma’s boy but it sure can be trying at times. “Mommy, can you come to watch TV with me?” “Mommy, can you stay in the bathroom until I’m done?” “Mommy, can you sit next to me while I eat?” “Mommy, can you play with me?” All endearing requests if he were the only aspect of my world, but come on! I have 3 other kids and a husband. I cannot be joined at the hip with you all day long!

As I tend to do when I have two or three seconds of silence to reflect, I am able to relate it to my spiritual life. In today’s first reading, Paul was in Corinth, where he met Aquila and his wife Priscilla. It says that he “stayed with them and worked”. He simply accompanied them with his presence. Surely he comforted them, ministered to them and offered them friendship. Isn’t this essentially what my son is asking me to do?

In the Gospel, Jesus is preparing His followers for His Ascension into heaven. He tells them “A little while and you will no longer see me.” He is preparing them for when He will no longer physically accompany them. And they are distraught. In the same way that my 4-year-old whines and cries almost every morning when I have to leave for work, the disciples were mourning Jesus’ absence.  Our presence matters.

While I know that God is always present to me, I often question how present I am to Him. My prayer life is sorely lacking, my patience is gravely thin, and I often don’t even think about my first and one true Love. Even when I don’t make time to pray, even when I have no idea what the readings at Mass were, I can still be present to my God by inviting Him into the everyday moments. Small utterances throughout the day, a plea for help, a complaint, a word of praise, a thank you, maybe even a shared joke or two. What matters is our presence to each other, Him to me and me to Him.

Lord, help me to truly be present to others today and to be present to You as well. Help me to realize that Your presence abiding in me matters to others, and together we can make a difference. Our presence matters…

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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Life’s Experiences Teach Us To Live

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As I worked on processing bulletins this past week, I noticed how many churches had chosen one of our covers illustrating a trifecta of celebrations. World Day of Prayer for Vocations, Good Shepherd Sunday and Mother’s day all fell on the same day this year (not to mention the 4th Sunday of Easter). Since the Good Shepherd is one of my favorite images of our Lord, vocations were once a big part of my life and I am now a mother to four little ones, I began to ponder…

In less than 25 years, I have been able to live three different vocations. Leaving home at the tender age of 15, I entered a boarding school out East to discern my vocation. Professing promises of a consecrated lay person at age 17, I was sent to Mexico soon after and lived the life of a student and missionary for three and a half years. Once I realized that God was not calling me to this life on a permanent basis I returned home. For 11 years, I lived as a single woman, working, traveling, attending retreats, Bible studies and social events, and spending lots of time with my nieces and nephews. At age 31 I finally met the love of my life after many failed attempts and foolish choices. We were married at age 32 and now have 4 small boys.

So before hitting 40, I have been able to live three different vocations. I don’t think many people can say that. It forces me to ask myself: “What does God want me to do with these experiences? How can I better give of myself to others because of the life I have lived?” During my time as a missionary, I learned how to speak fluent Spanish, developed a consistent prayer life and ministered to youth. During my single years, I learned to accept, understand and befriend people from many different countries and backgrounds. As a wife and mother I have learned to love, be patient, aid in healing and educate.

So what am I to do with all of these life lessons other than living out my daily life? Perhaps living out my daily life is precisely the answer, but doing it with more perfection. I have no illusions of being able to cure a crippled man, nor do I wish to be revered as a god as Paul was in today’ reading, but I can observe the commandments and love like Jesus as He asks us to in today’s Gospel. This love can then flow into everything I do and say and think. I can continue to pray and minister, accept and befriend, love and help heal.

Lord, help us all to be beacons of your love today and allow us to recognize You in others as well. Amen.

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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Just Like the First Apostles

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Every time I read today’s reading from Acts of the Apostles, it fills me with contentment and peace. The early Christians were a united front, a tight team, and they looked after one another. There is no allusion to greed or aspiration to lofty positions. They were filled with the Holy Spirit (“With great power”), sought to bring the Good News to as many people as possible (“bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus”) and were rewarded for their efforts (“great favor was accorded them all”).  The fact that there was “no needy person among them” reminds me of the original bliss of the Garden of Eden. Perhaps these moments in history were in fact another foreshadowing of heaven’s eternal joy.

Yet, if you continue reading on, you realize all too soon that the first Apostles’ lives were far from bliss. Persecutions, hardships, extensive travel in harsh circumstances, misunderstandings and eventual martyrdom awaited them. And this is why the Bible’s contents continue to be so relevant to us today, precisely because of its ups and downs.

I have four young boys and watch the ebb and flow of life unfold before my eyes every single day. My toddler literally smothers the baby with hugs and kisses, grabs a toy and crawls on the floor, trying to get the baby to follow him around the room, giggling and shrieking with joy the whole time. At other moments, usually, when he’s tired (or has a dirty diaper) he purposely runs over the baby’s fingers with a toy or wants to shove him out of my lap so I will hold him instead.

My 6 and 4-year-olds are best friends. They play together, watch cartoons together, invent adventures together, mastermind Lego creations together and chat it up for hours on end. My 4-year-old despises school because it takes his big brother away from him for 8 hours. Yet the two amigos also fight like cats and dogs, argue about which program they’re going to watch, push each other around, chase each other around the house, tease each other to the point of tears and hurt each other. They can’t live with each other and can’t live without each other.

These real-life scenarios reflect in a small way what we all experience. Ups and downs. Good Friday moments and Easter moments. Times of abundance and times of drought. The good news is that we know what awaits us. Although we may not know if the next minute or the next hour will bring us joy or sadness, we do know what awaits us at the end of our journey. We are Easter people, believers in the Resurrection! May this season be one of joy for you, knowing that “everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.” (Jn 3:15)

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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Joyful Anticipation

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Tonight is the greatest night of the whole year. The chains of sin and death are broken, the grave is opened. That dark midnight hour is filled with the light of this wonderful reality, Christ is Risen!

But we’re not there yet. The hour has not yet come. We still have this day, these next few hours to muddle through. I remember as a child being so restless on Holy Saturday. I felt so empty. Jesus was gone, nowhere to be found in any church. He was dead and I felt so lost. I couldn’t go visit Him at the adoration chapel. Even talking to Him in prayer felt like a futile exercise, like He couldn’t hear me anyways. Sure, we tried to fill the hours by coloring hard boiled eggs, cooking or getting the house ready for Easter, but it was such a hard day.

Knowing myself as I do now, I realize I am an impatient sort, and likely was even as a child. The most important day of the year was drawing nigh and I didn’t want to wait for it. I’m sure the promise of candy upon the morn didn’t help anything either.

It seems like we’re always waiting for something, doesn’t it? Waiting for the weekend to get here, for our relationship with our family members to get better, for that summer vacation we’ve been planning, to feel better after surgery or an illness, for the loan to go through, or the house to sell. And although we should give our all at being present in the present, living fully, to the best of our ability, we are actually SUPPOSED to be waiting, aren’t we? Our lives should be filled with joyful anticipation, expectant waiting of that glorious day, when we will, at last, be in Christ’s presence forever.

So as these last few hours pass before the celebration of Easter, let us remember that life truly is a time of waiting, but that we can be joyful in the waiting, knowing that our own resurrection awaits us.

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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Return To Me With All Your Heart

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Throughout these three weeks and three days of Lent, a certain Psalm Response has been running through my head. It has become the theme of my Lenten journey. “Return to Me with all your heart, the source of grace and mercy, come seek the tender faithfulness of God.” The minor key creates a somber melody that wafts in and out of my consciousness most days, grounding me, reminding me, centering me.

What does it truly mean for me, in my life to return to God? What does it mean to return to Him with my whole heart? How is He the source of grace? And of mercy? Are my eyes fully opened to His faithfulness? Do I realize how tender his faithfulness truly is?

In a similar vein, today’s First Reading invites us “Come, let us return to the Lord…Let us know, let us strive to know the Lord.” During the stretch of time between my missionary days and my present state as wife and mother, I feel like my spiritual life was so much deeper. I prayed often, attended a young adult group, went on periodic retreats and was actually able to focus during Mass. My relationship with God was at the forefront of my personal life and my work life. Perhaps I held on to Him so tightly because I was literally begging Him to send me a husband. Now that that dream and many more have been fulfilled, my mind is occupied with a multitude of other things and I often fail to reach out to my Creator and first Love.

I have a great need this Lent to return to God, to turn my heart to Him often during the day, to speak to Him as a friend. I see so much in myself that I want to change… so many sarcastic comments that shouldn’t escape my lips, so many unkind thoughts that should never enter my mind, so much frustration that shouldn’t fester. My patience level with my kids is at about 10% and the times my voice contains a high or negative tone are much too frequent. I want to be a good example, the light of Christ to others, yet I fail again and again.

One thing I have learned is that virtue is much more easily attained by simply zipping my lips. The more I am silent, the less I sin. I don’t always have to have an opinion or be funny. I don’t always have to defend myself and I’m not always right. I don’t have to talk to others about every little thing that bothers me about someone else. I don’t have to be so dramatic and constantly seek attention or praise.

Lord, grant me the humility of the tax collector in today’s Gospel who had the courage to beseech you: “O God, be merciful to me a sinner.” With your grace and mercy change is possible. Allow me to see Your tender faithfulness. Help me to return to you with all my heart.

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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Return to Me

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Today’s reading from Jeremiah reminded me of my high school days.  Youth group member, Steubenville retreat attendee, daily-Mass-going 14-year-old me thought she was holier than thou. I prided myself in following the rules, getting good grades and being a teacher’s pet. Even amidst the hormone shifts of teenage-hood I had permitted not a single curse word to escape my lips. In fact, when someone in the locker next to me dared to swear, I would be so bold as to speak up “please don’t use those words”, and then I would turn on my heels and walk away. I had few friends and of course not a single classmate approached this goodie-two-shoes with offers of “a good time.” I felt much like Jeremiah did being verbally attacked and snickered at. Indeed, why should good be repaid with evil?

As I left that atmosphere to dedicate a portion of my teen and young adult years to the missions, I learned that my behavior had more to do with my own insecurity than being truly holy. I clung to religion as my stronghold, followed the rules because of their consistency and familiarity. I remember thinking in those days that I had learned it all regarding my faith. I had already received the Sacraments, was familiar with a good portion of the Bible, had the Mass and many of the familiar hymns memorized… I was going to be SO BORED for the rest of my life with nothing new to learn. Boy was I wrong! I was missing one of the most important elements.

The Psalm declares steadfast trust in the Lord stating firmly: “You are my God” and speaks of His unfailing love. Did snappy requests in front of a locker speak of unfailing love? Not likely. Did gaining favor with every adult figure speaking of steadfast trust? Probably not. Did clinging to rules show God that He was mine? Nope. Like the mother of James and John in the Gospel, I was searching for greatness, albeit holy greatness, when I should have been seeking servitude. I love that quote from St. Francis that says “Preach the Gospel always, when necessary, use words” because it is a lesson that I still have not learned. I long for my relationship with God to be my all, my one and only, the reason to awaken each morning, what eeks from my very being day after day. Yet I have so far to go.

I am so grateful for this season of Lent that affords us such a great opportunity to return to God with our whole hearts. Perhaps this year I will take one step forward in my relationship with my God, my Creator, my Love, my All. “Into your hands, I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.” (Psalm 31:5)

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Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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The Lord is my Shepherd

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I once recited today’s Psalm (23) for a class assignment in high school. Not only is it one of the most well-known Psalms, thus making it easier to memorize, but it is also one of the most moving and poetic. It sums up who God is for me. He is my guide, my tranquility, my beauty, my banquet, and my ultimate goal. I want to dwell in his house!  May these words be balm to your soul:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
In verdant pastures he gives me repose;
Beside restful waters he leads me;
he refreshes my soul.
Even though I walk in the dark valley
I fear no evil; for you are at my side
With your rod and your staff
that give me courage.
You spread the table before me
in the sight of my foes;
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Only goodness and kindness follow me
all the days of my life;
And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
for years to come.

In those moments when I wonder how I am going to pay my mortgage, I remember “I shall not want.”

In those moments when I worry if I can take one more sleepless night, “he gives me repose.”

In those moments when I have no idea what to do next, “he leads me.”

In those moments when I don’t know if I can take one more toddler temper tantrum, “he refreshes my soul.”

In those moments when I am disturbed by a frightful thought he is “at my side.”

In those moments when the refrigerator is bare he “spread[s] the table before me.”

In those moments when I thirst for quiet “my cup overflows.”

In those moments when negativity abounds all around me “goodness and kindness follow me.”

And in those moments when I long for heaven I know I will soon “dwell in the house of the Lord.”

Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.

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Living and Effective

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As I write, I am in the midst of difficulties on both sides of the family. Granted, I come from a large family and my husband’s family has lived through many trials, but sometimes I want to throw up my hands and say “Why can’t we just all get along?!” And then I begin my rant, “Why does so and so have to be that way? Why does he/she have to do that?!…”

When my soul is finally tranquil enough to refocus, I try to consider what their world might be like. What are they living through at this moment? What is the state of their mind and heart? Who has hurt them and how deeply? Am I judging them? Do I consider myself holier than thou?

And once again I realize that the only solace for suffering humanity is our loving God and His holy Word. Here is today’s First Reading:

“The word of God is living and effective,
sharper than any two-edged sword,
penetrating even between soul and spirit,
joints and marrow,
and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart.
No creature is concealed from him,
but everything is naked and exposed to the eyes of him
to whom we must render an account.

Since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens,
Jesus, the Son of God,
let us hold fast to our confession.
For we do not have a high priest
who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,
but one who has similarly been tested in every way,
yet without sin.
So let us confidently approach the throne of grace
to receive mercy and to find grace for timely help.”

Lord Jesus, YOU are what I need. You penetrate the soul and the spirit. You discern the thoughts of the heart. All that I am is openly exposed to you. You are able to sympathize with all of my predicaments. You have also been tested. So I approach you and beg for your mercy, grace and help.

Tami grew up in Western Michigan, a middle child in a large Catholic family. Attending Catholic schools her whole life, she was an avid sportswoman, a (mostly) straight A student and a totally type A sister. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, studying theology and philosophy, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in Western Kentucky. Her favorite things to do are finding fun ways to keep her four boys occupied, quiet conversation with the hubby, and grocery shopping with a latte in her hand. She works at Diocesan, is a guest blogger on CatholicMom.com and BlessedIsShe.net, runs her own blog at https://togetherandalways.wordpress.com and has been doing Spanish translations on the side for the past 18 years.