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Teach Me Your Ways, O Lord

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In this Sunday’s readings, three particular lines stand out to me. 

In the First Reading, “Teach me your ways, O Lord.” Too commonly do we rely on our own understanding, failing to place our trust in Him, particularly in the more difficult times. Yet even in the simpler tasks of day-to-day life, we can also forget to ask for His help and guidance. Can we take a moment now to reflect on this request, always trying to learn from our Lord, regardless of whether circumstances are easier or harder?

In the second, “The world in its present form is passing away.” Just prior, this passage speaks of those using the world as not using it fully. Or rather, I think we often again are too distracted by some parts of the world in place of others. In a recent Kindergarten science class, the discussion of the word “naturalistic” came up. The man-made advances of technology for example, often hide us from the beauty God has given us through nature. But more so is that we are distracted by even each other’s ways rather than God’s ways for us. We fear death and what is to come after this life. Why? For if we truly love God above all, shouldn’t we be ready to embrace our Father at any and all times?

Finally,  “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Jesus is the epitome of the Word and He evangelizes through the Disciples, sharing His message of love for all people. He asks us to do the same, though this again may be a formidable task for us if we are not truly dedicated to His teachings. Fear and distraction may often offset us from following His instruction in our current circumstances. May we pray for His guidance and strength to act as the Apostles did, having inspiration and living in the joy of His peace, which is all glorious and eternal.

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Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is a board-certified neurologist who practices in Bergen County, NJ. She is a wife to her best friend, Akeem, and a mother of two little ones on Earth and two others in heaven above.

Feature Image Credit: Aziz Acharki, https://unsplash.com/photos/9W0bzKnJxpA

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Handmaid of the Lord

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I was recently part of a six-week journal group among mothers of my local parish. During our final session, I can recall two occurrences in particular that stood out to me. The first was that each of us were to identify another woman in our lives who has made a difference to us. Perhaps someone we view as a strong woman, or as an inspiration or a role model. Someone who had helped us learn more about who we are deep inside ourselves. Most others chose a friend of a similar age, but I struggled to identify someone.

At the close of the meeting, the group leader spoke about a memory of her father. Her father would regularly teach her that, when standing at the gates of Heaven, God will ask us three basic questions.

Did you know me? 

Did you love me? 

Who did you bring? 

Our group leader spoke of how she hoped to bring each of us with her. I was so moved. To this day, I constantly struggle with the fear of being rejected or of not being good enough. And yet, for someone who barely knew me, I knew that I was loved.

In the same model, Mary encompasses for us the values of humility, courage, and above all, love of God. She epitomizes what it is to be committed to God. “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.” With those words, the course of history would be changed forever. If ever I needed a female friend, who better than Mary to share with? Through her gift of self and sacrifices, she is the pinnacle of what it is to be a mother.

And when reviewing the questions my group leader posed to us, Did you know me? Did you love me? Who did you bring?,  it is by reflecting on Mary’s life that I can grow closer to the love of God. By having quiet time reflecting on prayers to my Mother, I grow in my understanding of Her beloved Son, Jesus Christ. I pray to become more humble and recall she is always by my side. Through Mary, I grow to know Christ and love Him. Through her Fiat, may we be inspired to bring countless souls on Judgment Day, when God asks us to show how we displayed our love for Him in this precious gift of life he has bestowed to us, both physical life, and spiritual life through that of His glorious son, Jesus Christ.

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Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is a board-certified neurologist who practices in Bergen County, NJ. She is a wife to her best friend, Akeem, and a mother of two little ones on Earth and two others in heaven above.

Feature Image Credit: GonzaloGY, https://www.cathopic.com/photo/853-estatua-maria-rezando

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Be Watchful

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This year has been a test of faith, probably more so than any one previous. This statement is not to be taken lightly. In 2001, I stood as a bushy-eyed high schooler only a few streets away from Ground Zero on the day nearly 3,000 others had their lives abruptly stolen from them. In 2014, we lost our son to stillbirth after what had been an otherwise uneventful first pregnancy. Through it all, moments of adversity force us to open our eyes to what is most important. This year, I have seen countless more lives lost, both near and far away from me. The grief can be deep and overwhelming; the darkness, heavy and lonely.

In contrast, giving thanks for what we have in 2020 has taken on a new meaning. Even the smallest blessings must not be taken for granted. From food and jobs to our health and each other, there is so much to praise God for.

Now more than ever before, as we begin this Advent season, we must depend on the living steadfastness of the Lord for continued restoration. Today’s readings include the Psalm, “Lord, make us turn to you; let us see your face and we shall be saved.”  2020 has been a constant reminder that this world is not our world. His ways are not our ways. But rather, one must “wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will keep you firm to the end, irreproachable on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful.” We must continue to savor then, each day He grants us as a gift, and spread the light of being Christian to others, so that we can all remain ready for Him. As the work of His hands, we must live each day giving glory and honor to Him through humble service and love.

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Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is a board-certified neurologist who practices in Bergen County, NJ. She is a wife to her best friend, Akeem, and a mother of two little ones on Earth and two others in heaven above.

Feature Image Credit: Andrew Tanglao, https://unsplash.com/photos/nTCi8Ol20Z4

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Have No Anxiety At All

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I’m a worrier. Probably as a typical American, I worry about money a lot. Perhaps many people’s goal each day is to make money. How much can one make in how little time.

I also worry about something bad happening a lot. What if a loved one gets hurt or sick? What if I’m given something I just can’t handle?

Have you ever wondered just how many times the words “fear” or “anxiety” are found in the Bible? When I recently tried to look, it quickly became too many for me to count.

I realize now that more than anything else that what weakens my relationship with God is my lack of trust in Him. In today’s society, we often want to see results immediately. Instant messages, live-time social media feeds, we hold the world in the grips of a quick swipe on our cells or the click of a computer mouse. We tend to concentrate on what’s next without recognizing what’s already in our midst- God’s presence within us.

Today’s readings remind us: Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And, what more was there to do for my vineyard that I had not done?

The Gospel calls us to ask ourselves, why do we turn against His beloved Son through sin? Is it for genuinely evil ways? This is probably not as common as it may be for the underlying anxiety and distrust we often have.

Perhaps more than anything else, we must take refuge in Him knowing His love for the world will surpass all our flaws.

Ultimately it is only by turning to our Father that we will find the peace we so yearn for. Prayer, indulgences, genuine self-care are some ways to cultivate our relationship with the Lord and demonstrate trust in His saving grace.

What can you do today to re-focus your priorities on His guarantees for His people rather than our doubts?

“Let nothing disturb you, nothing frighten you, all things are passing, God is unchanging.” – St Teresa of Avila

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Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is a board-certified neurologist who practices in Bergen County, NJ. She is a wife to her best friend, Akeem, and a mother of two little ones on Earth and two others in heaven above.

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God, Grant Me The Courage To Be A Watchman

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Today’s first reading is a struggle – warning others, speaking out against faults and wrongdoings, being brave rather than cowardly. I have always been one who prefers shying away from confrontation. There is so much to be overwhelmed by in today’s world: from politics and racial tensions to the sick and the poor, it is much easier to look the other way and ignore all the injustices and wrongdoings surrounding us.

When I was younger, I would toss and turn at night over worries such as being rejected by a crush. I would never put myself out there. Not in a million years. To this day, even with my closest loved ones, I frequently struggle with the same fears of rejection. This is not the least evident in my religious faith. Wearing a t-shirt with a faith-based message, or reminding my family about our Sunday obligation, I struggle with accepting it if I’m laughed at or ridiculed.

While having the courage to speak up can be scary, it’s often meant to come from a place of love, not of shame or of proving one is right. Today’s second reading tells us to love each other; that love is “the fulfillment of the law.” So to follow the law, we need to speak out from a place of love when we see something wrong.

Also, when we love someone, we want what’s best for them. Sometimes this means shining a light on a hard truth that one needs to accept, or the reality that they need to do something difficult to find peace and grow. When our confrontation comes from wanting the best for someone, we might be able to reframe it as an act of charity and grace rather than as a scary thing, making it easier for us to follow through and “put ourselves out there.”

Finally, confrontation can even involve self-reflection, recognizing our own faults and sins. “Hardening not our hearts” against His voice helps refine our love for Christ. The Litany of Humility (https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/devotions/litany-of-humility-245) has always helped keep me grounded. Christ reminds us that it is the lowest of the low who will be first in His kingdom. We are taught over and over the importance of loving others rather than seeking that love that we desire instead for ourselves.

Ultimately, we must never be afraid to break open our hearts in front of others for Christ. The life of a Christian is often going to be messy. If we’re not suffering alongside Christ, we are not giving our all to Him. We must take up our cross, and not hold back nor be ashamed. The Lord is worth so much more than the sum of our fears and doubts. And in the end, He does not demand much at all.

Solely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

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(co-written by Samantha Costanzo Carleton)

Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is a board-certified neurologist who practiced in Bergen County, NJ. She is a wife to her best friend, Akeem, and a mother of two little ones on Earth and two others in heaven above.