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Holy Spirit Come

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The readings for today have been challenging me. My initial reaction to the first reading is, ugh, Paul imprisoned for a long time, yet a faithful witness. OK, really not the path I want to see myself taking. However, if God puts imprisonment in my path, then, I’ll follow His lead….gulp!

As for the Gospel, I envision Peter with a toss of his head saying, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus replies with a downward disappointing glance, shaking his head, “What’s it matter to you?… You follow me.” Again, ugh. Me, follow Him, OK, I’m walking that path.

Not to judge others on the way, just focus on Jesus. I can’t always keep focus on the things I have to do today at work, around my condo, in my personal life, in any number of situations. Who am I to judge if anyone else can keep his/her focus on Jesus?

Peter had no right to judge or give a head nod to another disciple. He’ll deny Jesus 3 times! It’s hard having to be constantly vigilant, to love all (through Jesus’ perspective, love one another as I love you). I catch myself trying not to grind my teeth when my button is pushed because of something said by a neighbor, coworker, family member, civic leader and being ready to offer a prayer of patience, love and humility for the one speaking, if I cannot find the words to speak the truth in love at that moment.

I draw strength and fortitude in the fact that today is the day before Pentecost, the 9th day of the Pentecost novena. I need the Holy Spirit to enliven the gifts given to me in baptism in order to follow you, Jesus. I cannot be a good citizen in this world, without your grace and blessings. I need to rely on you in order to follow you.

O Holy Spirit, divine giver of gifts, grant me a servant’s heart so I can place the gifts I have been given at the service of others. Move me to compassion for those around me. Enlighten my ignorance, advise me in my doubts, strengthen me in weakness, protect me in temptation and struggles. Fill me with your holy gifts so I may have success the duties you have set before me, that I may do what is right and just. Help me to grow in goodness and grace. Amen

Beth Price is a Secular Franciscan (OFS) and spiritual director who has worked in several parish ministry roles during the last 20 years. She is a proud mother of 3 adult children. Beth currently works at Diocesan.

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Letting Go and Letting God

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May is filled with an abundance of celebrations: Baptisms, First Eucharist, graduations, retirements, weddings, anniversaries and funerals. Each milestone has its own unique character, anticipation, excitement and anxiety over what may unfold.  We can prepare for the upcoming event, but no one knows what the process – the actual journey- may contain to get to that endpoint. The pictures are taken, and the moment is forever frozen in time, but these do not begin to convey the effort or drama surrounding that one event. Now, what’s next?

In today’s Gospel, Jesus lets us know there is so much more that he wants to tell us, but we cannot handle it at this time. Most of me wants to know why not? I’m an adult. I can handle it. I’m in control of my own fate, but I then cringe at this line of thought. I hear, ‘You can’t handle the truth,’ echoing in my head. Am I being truthful with myself to think that I won’t need help bringing a new baby home, moving a parent into assisted living, confronting a diagnosis, recovering from surgery, beginning a new job or starting a different phase of a relationship? Do I really think that I have enough courage and stamina to make it through any situation on my own? The Serenity Prayer comes to mind. I need to focus on God’s will for me and my life. I usually forget that I’m supposed to surrender to Him because of my arrogance and wanting to be in control. What was I thinking?

Thankfully, I’m in good company when forgetting my way in life. This prayer helps center me as I take my next step.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.  Thomas Merton

Beth Price is a Secular Franciscan (OFS) and spiritual director who has worked in several parish ministry roles during the last 20 years. She is a proud mother of 3 adult children. Beth currently works at Diocesan.

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A Person’s a Person No Matter How Small

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‘I Hate You,’ my child screams at me. ‘Well, you aren’t my favorite person right now either, but I LOVE YOU. Now, you’re grounded, or go to your room, or no car keys for a month.’  How many times does that play out in our homes? Learning the rules and testing the boundaries of our lives is not an easy process either as a parent or a child.

Pope Francis’ monthly intention is ‘That the lay faithful may fulfill their specific mission, by responding with creativity to the challenges that face the world today.’  Being a loving parent, shaping and instilling moral character as well as virtues and conscience, definitely fit the description of a specific mission. One that needs creative care to meet the challenges of nurturing competent, empathetic, passionate members of society.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus says, ‘”I have told you this so that you may not fall away. They will expel you from the synagogues; in fact, the hour is coming when everyone who kills you will think he is offering worship to God.’

As I reflected on this, I recalled a recent conversation with two of my twenty-something adults while driving home from a family gathering. ‘So you’re saying that if you know you are going to have a baby with downs syndrome, or another defect, you shouldn’t have the choice to abort it, (NPR) even considering all the long-term care and expenses that family will have?’  I answered again, ‘No. A person’s a person, no matter how small’, using my favorite quote from Dr. Seuss.

There are those of this world who would hate me and call me a hypocrite, in light of the fact that I had an abortion as a young adult and immediately regretted the decision to end my baby’s life almost 34 years to the day of this reflection. Does the world hate me; maybe. Does God? No, my confessors tell me. No, I hear from the leaders on my Rachel’s Vineyard retreat. No, Jesus tells me as I kneel in adoration, or when I receive communion, or when I bow my head and pray.

As the conversation in the car continued, my eldest expressed regret at having spoken about abortion 20 minutes prior. Do I bring up the fact that the next baby I carried, the one sitting right next to me, had a congenital birth defect, and had I known at the time, I would not have chosen abortion, not ever again? Do I bring up the fact that an abortion rips you apart as well as your baby, no matter how small?  No, instead I chickened out, using exhaustion as my excuse. I am very well aware of how challenging it can be to have a child with special needs, but each and every person is uniquely made and has his or her own challenges, no matter how small or large, to be dealt with throughout life.

I share this with you today because I asked God for forgiveness and healing. I have had my own challenges and have made my own mistakes, but it is through the world’s hatred that Jesus was willing to completely give of himself on the cross. Redemption and salvation are mine because Jesus came into the world. He was hated, suffered, died and rose again for my sins, as great as they are because He so loves me and all those who come into the world.

 

Beth Price is a Secular Franciscan (OFS) and spiritual director who has worked in several parish ministry roles during the last 20 years. She is a proud mother of 3 adult children. Beth currently works at Diocesan.