Lent this year, as everyone knows, began on Valentine’s Day. In its deepest meaning, we could say, Lent is about “sorting out our loves.” Today’s Liturgy of the Word shows us what happens when our desires and dreams are distorted and self-serving.
In the first reading from the book of Genesis (37:3-4, 12-13A, 17B-28A), the jealous brothers of the boy Joseph plotted to kill him. Joseph was the youngest in the family and the favorite of his father Israel. “Let us kill him,” they say among themselves, “and see what happens to all his great dreams. We can tell his father that wild beasts attacked him.” So when the unsuspecting Joseph caught up to his brothers, they throw him into a cistern in the desert. Looking up, they see a caravan of Ishmaelites passing by traveling down to Egypt, and they sell Joseph into slavery, for twenty pieces of silver.
My own “unsorted” loves are not quite as dramatic, but possibly no less violent than the narrative we are presented with in the Liturgy today. When I perceive situations in terms of what is in it for me, or how I can avoid something I don’t like, or how I can assure I get what I believe I’m entitled to, I am thinking like the brothers in today’s readings. I jostle for first place (or the last place if I’m trying to avoid something I don’t prefer), and I manipulate situations and events so a thin layer of goodness covers the self-centeredness, because I don’t want people to know what I really am like.
What if the brothers of Joseph had stopped the action in today’s reading and gotten in touch with what they were saying to each other, what they felt, what was really motivating them in the heat of the moment? What if they had the presence of mind to choose a direction more in line with their most authentic desires and the glory of God?
When we are manipulating for control in our own self-interests, there may be underneath our behavior a legitimate concern or gripe or need. Joseph’s older brothers may have had enough of their father’s doting on Joseph. Maybe they felt it was unfair. Maybe they wanted attention or rest or a voice or a relationship they perceived was impossible as long as Joseph was in the picture. In the heat of the moment, what seemed like a great idea presented itself, everything fell into place, and the deed was done before they got in touch with what they really needed for themselves and from their father, before they could touch the deeper motivation that was leading them, honestly owning their mistaken and distorted “loves.”
There is a simple, but not easy, practice that can help us sort out our loves this Lent. When thoughts and ideas arise in daily life, be prayerfully and gently vigilant about them. Give yourself a heart-break and step out of the momentum to observe what is happening and to detach from the thought or idea and its hidden motivation.
Lent is a great time to build up more authentic motivations in our hearts. We can start doing this by filling our mind and heart with short prayers that help us turn to God: “I am here for You.” “My soul thirsts for You.” “I need You. I give myself to You forever.” If we fill our waking hours with these thoughts, we will find it easier to sort out our loves and choose what is truly in our best interest and that of others for the glory of God.
Sr. Kathryn J. Hermes, FSP is an author, an active team member of My Sisters, an online faith community, and a compassionate mentor and guide. Through her writing and online ministry she takes others along with her on her own journey of spiritual transformation, specializing in uncovering in the difficult moments of life where God’s grace is already breaking through. Connect with her website and blog: www.pauline.org/sisterkathryn or find her at My Sisters. Learn more at www.MySistersinChrist.org.
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